It always starts out the same way. I start feeling anxious, uncomfortable, discontent – any negative emotion you can think of. I usually try to fix it by getting a new hobby or fixing my attention on something to numb the ache. All that this manages to accomplish is to further frustrate me and make me realize how much I need life. LIFE.
When I sit down and start writing the words that I feel, I always come to the same conclusion. Time with You. This is what my soul longs for. This is why I experience frustration and anxiety and fear and loneliness. I long for you as a deer pants for water. My soul needs to reach out to You and be touched by Your life-giving Spirit.
“AS THE hart pants and longs for the water brooks, so I pant and long for You, O God. My inner self thirsts for God, for the living God. When shall I come and behold the face of God?” Ps 42:1-2
You are life-giving and real. You don’t exist far away, You are close to me this very second. You are intimately acquainted with my life and You know my thoughts afar off. I will never find delight in anything other than You. You are the essence of joy – you are the perfect solution to my heart’s cry. You bring peace and you wrap me in the softness of your love. I feel at peace in You. I find myself in You. The anxious thoughts in me goes quiet at the sight of your beauty. Your presence is the only encounter I need.
I love you with all my heart. Thank you for saving me and choosing to be with me, mistakes and all. You are wonderful and good.